JESSICA SIMPSON HAS LANDED!

This is possibly the funniest photo of all time. Jessica Simpson has arrived in Kuwait ready to do her Operation MySpace performance! It’s obvious Jessica has thought long and hard about the appropriate attire and she’s hit the nail right on the head with denim cut off shorts and cowboy boots, don’t you think?

It wasn’t easy getting Jess to Kuwait to “support the troops as much as she could”. Jess was flown by a $150,000 private jet, she has a make up artist with her that costs $6000 a day and that embarrassing tool of a hairdresser of hers is $10,000 a day and it somehow is not costing Jess a cent.

She’s due out of Kuwait as soon as her performance is over. God bless you Jessica!

JESSICA SIMPSON SET TO ‘ENTERTAIN’ THE TROOPS

Jessica Simpson has confirmed she will be entertaining the troops in Kuwait on March 10 and it will be broadcast live on Operation MySpace. Jess said…

“It’s truly an honour to perform for the troops. Through Operation MySpace, I get to serve my country by doing what I love to do in front of thousands of brave men in uniform. It’s every girl’s dream!”

Oh how that statement makes me laugh like a ticklish school girl! I’ve got news for you Jess - you’re not serving your country, this isn’t like that bomb move of yours, ‘Major Movie Star’, you’ll be singing 3 songs with your Louis Vuitton luggage tucked safely away.

And while I’m certainly no expert on the subject…I’m still pretty sure there’s woman in armed forces now, isn’t there? It’s 2008 right?

Good luck to the troops - they have it hard enough and now they have to listne to this?

JOHN MAYER DEFENDS JESSICA SIMPSON

I tell you who loves to blog? John Mayer. Most of the time I think he’s high whilst blogging but he loves it nontheless. In his latest rant, he defends his ex, Jessica Simpson because all of the Dallas football fans are slamming Jessica as the reason her BF Tony Romo is sucking arse at the moment…

I have never known anyone to have more pride in their home state and their upbringing in it than Jessica Simpson has in Texas. I don’t really follow sports, but I have played some of my biggest and best concerts in your state, and having witnessed how dynamic the spirit there is, I’m betting emotions are running high right about now.

All witty barbs, blogs, and fashion policing aside, that girl loves Texas more than you know. It’s one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don’t try and take that away from her. (You probably wouldn’t be able to, but it’s less work for all involved.)

I just thought it would mean something coming from the guy who has the absolute least to gain from this. And if I’m out of line in having written it, too bad. I can spare a Wednesday’s worth of bad press if it means sticking up for a good soul.

PAPA JOE THINKS JESS IS A PROSTITUTE

Oh for God’s sake. You know who the biggest tools in Hollywood are? It’s not the underage druggo’s that make up young Hollywood, it’s the Simpson family. Papa Joe, Jessica and Ashley need to be banished from that town. Joe is pushing for a remake of Pretty Woman where of course, Jessica would be playing the lead role. He’s going around trying to start talk that Jessica Simpson is the next Julia Roberts:  

“She thinks this one’s got hit written all over it. (Her father) Joe has been telling anyone who will listen that she’s the next Julia Roberts.” 

Just a heads up Jess…Julia Roberts can act. You can’t. There’s a MASSIVE difference. It may not seem like it, but there is. I’m sure Julia also knows the difference between fish and poultry too, dumbass. 

Oh. And I’m pretty sure Julia doesn’t have a recycled GQ cover shot as her new movie poster.